20 WEEKS already and at the halfway point of this pregnancy. I’d heard that I probably wouldn’t know what week or day it was while pregnantly rearing a toddler but based on how everything went the first time around, never believed I’d feel that way. Nevertheless, here we are, 5 months pregnant, and feeling like time is FLYING.
Once again, every cliche about motherhood is proving to be true. I don’t know how I’m doing this a second time around and I don’t know how on earth it could possibly be feeling easier, but it is. Mom’s are sort of incredible at adapting like that. I’m actually mad at my pre-kid self who not only whined about being tired before she was ever pregnant, but while she was growing her first baby with luxuries like laying in bed all day and only having to worrying about whether the dog had been peed.
Nowadays we have daycare pickup, dinnertime, bedtime, nap time, extra curricular activities… you name it, we have to accomplish it in a day so I can definitely see how the regular discomforts and inconveniences of pregnancy fall to the wayside.
At the halfway point this time around we’ve run into some of the same issues we had the first time around. My sub-chorionic hemorrhage is back… or rather, it never left. So I wound up in the ER at 13 weeks with bleeding. Thankfully, I wasn’t put on bed rest. Just limited duties and as much rest as I can fit in. My first trimester nausea and exhaustion has tapered off and I can honestly say the second trimester has been VERY good to me.
We’re so excited to find out baby’s gender again… this time on Christmas morning with a package specially gifted to us by my sister who will be the keeper of the results until the big day. I can’t wait to know if Luca will be getting a little brother or sister in April although, I can absolutely say I wouldn’t be disappointed by either result. Another little boy would be so special given how sweet life with Luca has been. A sister would of course balance out all of the testosterone in the house and I’m sure ultimately become my mini-me. Whatever they are, they’ll be loved and love and loved.
All in all, I’ve been enjoying this pregnancy more than my first – who knows? It could be my last and I want to remember this season of life as much as possible. I’m also trying to lead with a more grateful heart these days. My natural disposition is to see the negative in things and start playing out worst case scenario and I worry my kids will start to pick up on that energy as they grow. I want them to feel thankful for the things they have, their health and vitality and the opportunities we afford them. Could be the hormones, mind you. There are definitely days that it all feels harder than usual.
The biggest struggle has actually been coming to terms with the change in our family dynamic. It honestly didn’t occur to me until recently that the days I have alone with my firstborn are numbered and after that, it won’t ever be like it has been. I always say to people “we’re a very co-dependent couple” half as a joke, but actually completely seriously, we need each other. Our bond has been the biggest treasure and gift in my life for the last 21 months and I’m grappling with how to give that up and let another little one in. I feel like I’m going to miss him even though he’ll be right beside me…
I’d love to know from other mama’s of multiples how your second pregnancies went and how on EARTH you came around to the idea of loving another human being as much as your first. I know it will all turn out in the end, but the anxiety is killer so coping mechanisms and suggestions are much appreciated!
Also, I’ll try to keep more up to date with the bumpdates here. I went into pregnancy with the greatest of intentions but y’all know what pregnancy and motherhood in general is like. Especially with a full time job added to the mix. I’ll try to be better but I honestly can’t wait until I can use this as my mat-leave outlet again. Counting down the days, y’all!